今日は本当にウエットです
I like the rain. It’s got this soothing almost sensual rythm to it that makes me want to go crazy and just dance ’til I die. No matter if it’s a good day or a bad day rain is always good..! Until I realize I have no money on my Oystercard (travel card for buses, trams and trains) and I’ve not got socks on under my really small and not waterproof ballerinas…
But then there’s bound to be some good in each evil, and despite the fact that the walk home is 45 minutes and the quickest route is through a wet and muddy park, this was a brilliant opportunity to have a long needed think!
I can’t remember now what I was thinking about, probably because I was to busy discussing what makes a good video game with my brother who walked home through the rain with me. But I know I did some thinking at least.
As soon as we had exited the muddy park, and I’d made sure to slip 100 times, we saw a cat. It was a beautiful white/tortoiseshell cat with bright orange eyes and a little heart on her back. She was sitting on a doorstep, mewing and walking to and fro’. When she saw us she was still for a second and then she came up to us, probably hoping we could help her out of the wet. So me and my brother both being animal-lovers decided to stay and cuddle this cutie-pie for a sec.
Whilst playing with this cat, I noticed the tag on her collar and I turned it around to read her name. Her name was Daisy. Funny, I thought then, as my friend’s little sister’s name was Daisy, and she’d been clinging on to me all day.
After a while, we decided that we should walk on, and only 5 minutes after our moment with Daisy we stumbled upon ( and this I mean quite literally) Lily! A much smaller and completely black cat who raced around our legs and yowled frantically. We cuddled her as well, and again, set on our way home, only to run into Tulip. He was almost red and only liked us for about 10 seconds. Then he decided that we were not worthy, so he ran off before we rubbed off our scent on him.
All these encounters made me think (because then I was completely petless) “I’m really missing out on a lot of love!” Perhaps that sounds a bit desperate but I’ve always shared a deep connection with animals. So I’m itching and aching for a pet of my own, preferably a dog.
I don’t feel whole without a bouncy, non-judgemental, always loving dog by my side. I grew up around animals, and our house was never without animals until we came to London. Our flat was just too small…
This is an account of a day loooong ago. I’ll write more soon; there’s a lot to tell.
//Sofia
Hi there.
I feel a tiny bit awkward writing nowadays, considering how I blurted out almost all my personal history in my last post. But I’m not abandoning this blog… So, I’m going to set a few things straight today.
My dad isn’t as much of a dickhead as I make him out to be. It’s simply my superior word-manipulation that make him seem like a despicable person whom deserves to die. ;D Yes we’ve knocked heads this summer, but now that it’s all over and done with I realise that it was necessary. We’ve come a lot closer now and we’ve been talking so much more to each other now. This has led to a greater understanding of the other’s wants and needs.
So yeah, my summer started out bad, I was depressed for a huge part of it and I did call mummy and cry my heart out more than once. But with a bit of tough love from my mother, and some serious verbal self-abuse, I finally realised that I couldn’t let things be the way they were. But I did leave everything the way they were. All up until my dad left for London for two weeks and I was looking after the apartment for a few days.
It was when I was alone that I finally managed to re-awaken the dormant devil in me and come up with the worst kind of revenge possible: Invite my childhood disaster-bringing friend Angelica over for a movie night!
And she sure brought disaster!! As soon as she arrived she let me know how bored she was and my immediate reply was; “So call some of your friends and we’ll smoke shisha (waterpipe)!” Aaaand she made the call and we spent the day with them and when darkness swept over the land with it’s haunting nocturnal chill, we all went inside. Well inside we partied as best we could amongst moving-boxes and disassembled bookshelves, with a packet of cigarettes and the Holy Pipe of Waterness! xD
And somehow we managed to party too hard, despite the fact that there were only 4 of us and we were all sober. Because in the end the waterpipe got knocked over, the coal went flying all over the place and made burnmarks in the wooden floor and the leather sofa. All the damage probably amounting up to 30-35 000 swedish kronor!!
Afterwards, I panicked thinking that my desire for revenge had been taken a step to far, so in a fuzzy fury and frantic-ness I called my mum and asked for advice. In turn, she told my dad, who called me and told me it was alright, but I knew that it bloody well wasn’t and started feeling really bad!
So when dad came home, I apologised properly and swore to never pull a stunt like that ever again! Which I will hold true to until the day that I die. But I also told him about why I did it and explained thoroughly how I felt about him at the time. And I told him that if he had room for me, I would like to move in with him! So we talked about which room I would have if I lived with him, what rules there would be, what school I would attend… It all seemed perfect to me! It was the perfect opportunity for me to return to a normal and believable life.
Now let me tell you why it didn’t happen. Three or so days later, my sister tells everybody she’s decided to move in, she’s going to buy a cat and she’ll live in the basement. I can’t stand my sister. I mean I love her and all, because she is my sister, but I can’t stand living with her!
Whatever I do, she interferes with. Whatever I say, she disagrees with. However I behave, she tells me I’m such a manly girl and I’m behaving like an animal. When I sing, I sing falsely. When I laugh, I’m too loud. I’m uncontrolled, I’m out of order, I’m a besserwisser (german for know-it-all), I’m rude, I’m disgusting… Oh and; I don’t know how to behave when we go to church.
So basically my sister is always trying to change who I am. She’s trying to turn me into her, but I don’t want to be 22 years old and re-doing college! When I’m 22 I aim to be in University! Cambridge University! I will never ever ever ever become a lazy layabout leech like my sister!! I can’t believe that after hating our dad for 15 years and constantly bad-mouthing him, SHE’S MOVING IN!!! It’s fucking unfair!! She’s 22, she should be living on her own by now! And she KNEW I wanted to move in with dad so why does she do it? It sure as hell ain’t to be spending quality time with me! >.<
So I’m back in London, which honestly, surprised everyone in my family. I was so deadset on staying in Sweden this time around. It’s hard for me to believe I actually let my stupid fucking sister get in the way of my dreams… :’/
Now for a brief announcement.
I’ve started working out with my mum. Every morning we get up early for a walk (I usually jog a little), and then we go home and I do sit-ups and leg-ups to burn some stomach fat. And we’re also eating healthier now, and counting calories. And even though it’s only been about a week for me, I’ve already lost a couple of centimetres here and there!
So this whole regime is working great! Hopefully by the time I’m going to Japan next year, I’ll be fit as a fiddle!
So… Lots of love!
//Sofia
I feel a tiny bit awkward writing nowadays, considering how I blurted out almost all my personal history in my last post. But I’m not abandoning this blog… So, I’m going to set a few things straight today.
My dad isn’t as much of a dickhead as I make him out to be. It’s simply my superior word-manipulation that make him seem like a despicable person whom deserves to die. ;D Yes we’ve knocked heads this summer, but now that it’s all over and done with I realise that it was necessary. We’ve come a lot closer now and we’ve been talking so much more to each other now. This has led to a greater understanding of the other’s wants and needs.
So yeah, my summer started out bad, I was depressed for a huge part of it and I did call mummy and cry my heart out more than once. But with a bit of tough love from my mother, and some serious verbal self-abuse, I finally realised that I couldn’t let things be the way they were. But I did leave everything the way they were. All up until my dad left for London for two weeks and I was looking after the apartment for a few days.
It was when I was alone that I finally managed to re-awaken the dormant devil in me and come up with the worst kind of revenge possible: Invite my childhood disaster-bringing friend Angelica over for a movie night!
And she sure brought disaster!! As soon as she arrived she let me know how bored she was and my immediate reply was; “So call some of your friends and we’ll smoke shisha (waterpipe)!” Aaaand she made the call and we spent the day with them and when darkness swept over the land with it’s haunting nocturnal chill, we all went inside. Well inside we partied as best we could amongst moving-boxes and disassembled bookshelves, with a packet of cigarettes and the Holy Pipe of Waterness! xD
And somehow we managed to party too hard, despite the fact that there were only 4 of us and we were all sober. Because in the end the waterpipe got knocked over, the coal went flying all over the place and made burnmarks in the wooden floor and the leather sofa. All the damage probably amounting up to 30-35 000 swedish kronor!!
Afterwards, I panicked thinking that my desire for revenge had been taken a step to far, so in a fuzzy fury and frantic-ness I called my mum and asked for advice. In turn, she told my dad, who called me and told me it was alright, but I knew that it bloody well wasn’t and started feeling really bad!
So when dad came home, I apologised properly and swore to never pull a stunt like that ever again! Which I will hold true to until the day that I die. But I also told him about why I did it and explained thoroughly how I felt about him at the time. And I told him that if he had room for me, I would like to move in with him! So we talked about which room I would have if I lived with him, what rules there would be, what school I would attend… It all seemed perfect to me! It was the perfect opportunity for me to return to a normal and believable life.
Now let me tell you why it didn’t happen. Three or so days later, my sister tells everybody she’s decided to move in, she’s going to buy a cat and she’ll live in the basement. I can’t stand my sister. I mean I love her and all, because she is my sister, but I can’t stand living with her!
Whatever I do, she interferes with. Whatever I say, she disagrees with. However I behave, she tells me I’m such a manly girl and I’m behaving like an animal. When I sing, I sing falsely. When I laugh, I’m too loud. I’m uncontrolled, I’m out of order, I’m a besserwisser (german for know-it-all), I’m rude, I’m disgusting… Oh and; I don’t know how to behave when we go to church.
So basically my sister is always trying to change who I am. She’s trying to turn me into her, but I don’t want to be 22 years old and re-doing college! When I’m 22 I aim to be in University! Cambridge University! I will never ever ever ever become a lazy layabout leech like my sister!! I can’t believe that after hating our dad for 15 years and constantly bad-mouthing him, SHE’S MOVING IN!!! It’s fucking unfair!! She’s 22, she should be living on her own by now! And she KNEW I wanted to move in with dad so why does she do it? It sure as hell ain’t to be spending quality time with me! >.<
So I’m back in London, which honestly, surprised everyone in my family. I was so deadset on staying in Sweden this time around. It’s hard for me to believe I actually let my stupid fucking sister get in the way of my dreams… :’/
Now for a brief announcement.
I’ve started working out with my mum. Every morning we get up early for a walk (I usually jog a little), and then we go home and I do sit-ups and leg-ups to burn some stomach fat. And we’re also eating healthier now, and counting calories. And even though it’s only been about a week for me, I’ve already lost a couple of centimetres here and there!
So this whole regime is working great! Hopefully by the time I’m going to Japan next year, I’ll be fit as a fiddle!
So… Lots of love!
//Sofia
こんばんは…
Sooo… I started a post earlier. In fact two weeks ago I wrote one, published it and immediately removed it again…
I didn’t really know what to talk about as nothing much had happened apart from finishing my exams and stuff. But it has now. Now I have loads of things to talk (rant) about.
So here we go! – はじめます! ;
Summer holidays started before I even knew it. One day I was still in school fooling around and taking the piss with my friends; the next I was in an uptight exam hall with an alien paper in front of me on which I had to secure the rest of my fucking life. And seconds away from all that anguish and worry the summer was waiting to take me back – or away – to Sweden.
I travelled alone this time, and I will probably be alone on the way back. That meaning I will probably be all alone this summer. I appreciate that because it means I’ll be spending my summer in peace and quiet.
But now that a few days have gone I can’t help but feel so goddamned lonely. I can’t help but feel out of place either. Here everybody is wearing make-up 24/7, they buy their clothes at H&M and follow the latest fashions like a flock of sheep. And somehow, I seem like a threat to them nowadays. Whenever I say something smart around my teenage friends they just immediately think I’m doing it to piss them off, and hence; I’m an adult.
But all the adults keep talking about me like I’m not here and boss me around, handing over their smaller responsibilities so that they can have a glass of wine and enjoy themsleves “for once”, but as soon as it’s something important, interesting or fun that I would like to join in on or do by myself they just shake their heads, saying; “She’s only 15″, or “She won’t like that” – immediately excluding me from the adult list of playmates.
So wtf.
It’s only the start of the summer, my birthday hasn’t even been yet but I already feel like going back. I think I’ve only just realised how much I actually do for the people I love and then let them walk all over me. My dad tried to preach about fucking karma today whilst driving back home, saying that if you’re helpful and kind to other people without thinking it will come back to you. I’ve never ever thought about myself when my friends ask me for a favour or for help. I do it simply because they’re my friends and I care about them. But I don’t seem to be getting back what I give. Now, why should I have to give more than I get? I don’t want to live in some kind of energetic and emotional poverty, simply because I’ve chosen the wrong friends.
My dad asked me the other day, what made my life so shitty that I had to cut myself, attempt suicide and become reclusive. Before I had the chance to answer him, he went on to say; “How many days have you walked without food, shelter and clothes?” and “How many times a week are you beaten or raped?”. I didn’t answer him… Because I’ve never had a day without food or shelter or clothes. And I’m not raped or beaten several times a week.
But there have been days when the economy of my family has been so low that I wouldn’t eat to save money. There’ve been days when we’ve been thretened with eviction, and I’ve ran away thinking that was a better solution, and there have been days when I’ve had to walk around in dirty or broken clothes because nobody had the time to spend fixing my clothes for me and I couldn’t do it myself. And no, I’m not raped or beaten weekly. I was sexually harassed by teachers and older kids for three years, and regularly beaten up simply for being Swedish and clever and this resulted in me not going to school, fearing that if I did, one day I would be raped and killed.
So I’m not an extreme case, but I’ve had my fair share of trauma.
I just couldn’t help but feel that it was my dad’s fault, all of this. For not being there with me and for me when I need to talk about what has happened. Or ever. When I’ve needed a shoulder to cry on, it was never his shoulder that gave me comfort.
I also feel that people aren’t treating me the way I feel I deserve to be treated. As I’m writing this, I’ve been left alone for the evening by my godmother, with whom I was supposed to have a “Girl’s weekend” and my dad is gone off to some other place with my step mother and stepsister to have a fancy dinner and leaving me at home to make myself macaronies or noodles or fuckall… So the Girl’s weekend I guess is cancelled. No dinner tonight as I can’t be arsed to cook something. No friends, no one to talk to.
I was momentarily cheered up by my friend Gabriel, who I would be crazy in love with if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s far to nice to be my type! ^_^ Oh, and he doesn’t like Japan which is an absolute no-no! ;P
So everybody is getting on my nerves, I really want to go home, but at the same time, I don’t want to waste people’s money or time by going home. So I will be spending my summer being dragged around to places I don’t want to go, feigning happiness and excitement over pointless things and nodding my head in agreement to everybody’s opinions.
Now you know what I’ll be doing this summer… Hopefully something fun will come forwards and take me away…
しゃ ね
Sofia
Sooo… I started a post earlier. In fact two weeks ago I wrote one, published it and immediately removed it again…
I didn’t really know what to talk about as nothing much had happened apart from finishing my exams and stuff. But it has now. Now I have loads of things to talk (rant) about.
So here we go! – はじめます! ;
Summer holidays started before I even knew it. One day I was still in school fooling around and taking the piss with my friends; the next I was in an uptight exam hall with an alien paper in front of me on which I had to secure the rest of my fucking life. And seconds away from all that anguish and worry the summer was waiting to take me back – or away – to Sweden.
I travelled alone this time, and I will probably be alone on the way back. That meaning I will probably be all alone this summer. I appreciate that because it means I’ll be spending my summer in peace and quiet.
But now that a few days have gone I can’t help but feel so goddamned lonely. I can’t help but feel out of place either. Here everybody is wearing make-up 24/7, they buy their clothes at H&M and follow the latest fashions like a flock of sheep. And somehow, I seem like a threat to them nowadays. Whenever I say something smart around my teenage friends they just immediately think I’m doing it to piss them off, and hence; I’m an adult.
But all the adults keep talking about me like I’m not here and boss me around, handing over their smaller responsibilities so that they can have a glass of wine and enjoy themsleves “for once”, but as soon as it’s something important, interesting or fun that I would like to join in on or do by myself they just shake their heads, saying; “She’s only 15″, or “She won’t like that” – immediately excluding me from the adult list of playmates.
So wtf.
It’s only the start of the summer, my birthday hasn’t even been yet but I already feel like going back. I think I’ve only just realised how much I actually do for the people I love and then let them walk all over me. My dad tried to preach about fucking karma today whilst driving back home, saying that if you’re helpful and kind to other people without thinking it will come back to you. I’ve never ever thought about myself when my friends ask me for a favour or for help. I do it simply because they’re my friends and I care about them. But I don’t seem to be getting back what I give. Now, why should I have to give more than I get? I don’t want to live in some kind of energetic and emotional poverty, simply because I’ve chosen the wrong friends.
My dad asked me the other day, what made my life so shitty that I had to cut myself, attempt suicide and become reclusive. Before I had the chance to answer him, he went on to say; “How many days have you walked without food, shelter and clothes?” and “How many times a week are you beaten or raped?”. I didn’t answer him… Because I’ve never had a day without food or shelter or clothes. And I’m not raped or beaten several times a week.
But there have been days when the economy of my family has been so low that I wouldn’t eat to save money. There’ve been days when we’ve been thretened with eviction, and I’ve ran away thinking that was a better solution, and there have been days when I’ve had to walk around in dirty or broken clothes because nobody had the time to spend fixing my clothes for me and I couldn’t do it myself. And no, I’m not raped or beaten weekly. I was sexually harassed by teachers and older kids for three years, and regularly beaten up simply for being Swedish and clever and this resulted in me not going to school, fearing that if I did, one day I would be raped and killed.
So I’m not an extreme case, but I’ve had my fair share of trauma.
I just couldn’t help but feel that it was my dad’s fault, all of this. For not being there with me and for me when I need to talk about what has happened. Or ever. When I’ve needed a shoulder to cry on, it was never his shoulder that gave me comfort.
I also feel that people aren’t treating me the way I feel I deserve to be treated. As I’m writing this, I’ve been left alone for the evening by my godmother, with whom I was supposed to have a “Girl’s weekend” and my dad is gone off to some other place with my step mother and stepsister to have a fancy dinner and leaving me at home to make myself macaronies or noodles or fuckall… So the Girl’s weekend I guess is cancelled. No dinner tonight as I can’t be arsed to cook something. No friends, no one to talk to.
I was momentarily cheered up by my friend Gabriel, who I would be crazy in love with if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s far to nice to be my type! ^_^ Oh, and he doesn’t like Japan which is an absolute no-no! ;P
So everybody is getting on my nerves, I really want to go home, but at the same time, I don’t want to waste people’s money or time by going home. So I will be spending my summer being dragged around to places I don’t want to go, feigning happiness and excitement over pointless things and nodding my head in agreement to everybody’s opinions.
Now you know what I’ll be doing this summer… Hopefully something fun will come forwards and take me away…
しゃ ね
Sofia
So…
I’ve previously mentioned that next year I’m going to Japan!! WOO!! I also announced that in order for that to REALLY happen, I need money… LOTS of money…
So guess what happened Saturday morning! ^_^
Haha, I knew you couldn’t guess! xD Well truth to be told…
I’VE LOST MY FUCKING JOB!!
After 8 MONTHS of me working harder than anybody for them, they fire me because I came down with a bad cold last weekend! I swore I would make it up to them, and I mean ffs, I had my holiday coming up! I would’ve had plenty of time to work for them…
Fucking great timing as well! Don’t you think?! And I know they really like me anyway, and they know I love working for them so WHY?!?! They even begged me to keep contact with them anyway…
I’m so pissed off about this… This means I have to get a new job. Which I don’t really have time for until September anyway… >_< And HOW am I going to find a job with such perfect opportunity for practicing and learning about the Japanese?
Sigh… This probably means I’ll end up in a hellish job-hunt all summer. >_< It’s going to be hard trying to find a job as exciting as the one I had…
- Anyways.
So… Bad Karma… I think it’s affecting me at the moment. First I loose my job and then I injure myself… *sobs*
On Monday, when I was on my way home from school, I was walking with my friend James towards the bus-stop. When we reach the gate, I hold it open for him and walk out just after him. But because he didn’t move away quick enough and I was right behind him and had let go of it, the gate slammed shut on my foot! >_< It fucking killed!
Because the gate has these bars on them, that kinda stick out at the bottom of it, it actually pierced my skin and I was bleeding. What’s more is that I didn’t even bring my bus-pass, so if I was unlucky I would have to walk home.
Come the bus and I’m begging the driver to let me on because I’m injured, he says it’s not his problem and I have to get off the bus. Not only is that embarrassing, it also meant I would have to either wait until the next bus came, or walk all the way home. (Which btw takes about 45 minutes… >_>)
I walked to the next bus-stop, waited there and when the bus came, it was a female driver who took sympathy on me and let me go with the bus anyway, as long as I realised she wouldn’t protect me if inspectors came. xD
- On to the exams…
So, I mentioned earlier that I was worried about my maths exam. So this maths exam was on Monday (same Monday as when I injured myself)…
Despite Monday being shitty, and me frantically revising maths and then raped my skull for 2 hours trying to remember all the shit I needed to know in the exam; it was actually okay. I think I got at least 50% right, which means I will probably manage a C grade. ^_^
A C grade is like a good pass. I was hoping to get an A, but I have this feeling that that’s not going to happen. B at most. C at least… xD I think I would’ve done a lot better if I’d taken a chill pill and remembered what the hell reciprocal meant! xD
Before the maths exam, my brother, who is doing Maths re-sits gave me the biggest scare in my life! >_< When I came to school to check the seating plan, I couldn’t find my name. But then I found my brother’s name, and I thought they’d made a mistake, so I nudged my friend Gabriel and showed him, and he just said that no it wasn’t a mistake because my seat was at the other end of the room, right next to him. >_>
This obviously confused me, so I asked him why the fuck my brother’s name was on there and he just said he didn’t know. So I got really stressed went to ask one of the Maths teachers; Ms.Sugarman. She then told me that my brother was supposed to be in the exam today, and she asked me where the hell he was.
So 10 minutes prior to the Maths exam’s beginning I was stood outside furious and nearly crying for some odd reason, trying to get hold of my brother. And of course he was sleeping when I called so it took him like 5 minutes to understand my rambling about exams and getting to school quick-like… And sometimes I’m so happy my year-group is seriously retarded! Because some people misbehaved, the start of the exam was delayed by 10 minutes, and my brother made it just in time! ^_^
The day after Maths I had English literature… I love English, it’s actually one of my favourite subjects, but I don’t like English exams… They’re hard… But I think I did well on the ‘Of Mice and Men‘ section… But when it came to the poetry bit I failed… I didn’t structure my writing, I didn’t use any connectives, the writing was boooring and I felt like killing myself when I read it… >_< It was really awful, and because I dragged it on for so long, I didn’t have time to finish it…
And finally, today! Today I had my Biology exam. It was NOTHING like I thought it would be… It was definitely easier than I thought, but some questions were just incomprehensible… And that really sucks… And as soon as I walked out of the exam hall I realised how many mistakes I had made… >_> So Biology is a very possible failure! >_<
That’s enough of my ramblings for now…
I’ll tell you about how my job search is going next time!
’nuff love
//Sofia
I’ve previously mentioned that next year I’m going to Japan!! WOO!! I also announced that in order for that to REALLY happen, I need money… LOTS of money…
So guess what happened Saturday morning! ^_^
Haha, I knew you couldn’t guess! xD Well truth to be told…
I’VE LOST MY FUCKING JOB!!
After 8 MONTHS of me working harder than anybody for them, they fire me because I came down with a bad cold last weekend! I swore I would make it up to them, and I mean ffs, I had my holiday coming up! I would’ve had plenty of time to work for them…
Fucking great timing as well! Don’t you think?! And I know they really like me anyway, and they know I love working for them so WHY?!?! They even begged me to keep contact with them anyway…
I’m so pissed off about this… This means I have to get a new job. Which I don’t really have time for until September anyway… >_< And HOW am I going to find a job with such perfect opportunity for practicing and learning about the Japanese?
Sigh… This probably means I’ll end up in a hellish job-hunt all summer. >_< It’s going to be hard trying to find a job as exciting as the one I had…
- Anyways.
So… Bad Karma… I think it’s affecting me at the moment. First I loose my job and then I injure myself… *sobs*
On Monday, when I was on my way home from school, I was walking with my friend James towards the bus-stop. When we reach the gate, I hold it open for him and walk out just after him. But because he didn’t move away quick enough and I was right behind him and had let go of it, the gate slammed shut on my foot! >_< It fucking killed!
Because the gate has these bars on them, that kinda stick out at the bottom of it, it actually pierced my skin and I was bleeding. What’s more is that I didn’t even bring my bus-pass, so if I was unlucky I would have to walk home.
Come the bus and I’m begging the driver to let me on because I’m injured, he says it’s not his problem and I have to get off the bus. Not only is that embarrassing, it also meant I would have to either wait until the next bus came, or walk all the way home. (Which btw takes about 45 minutes… >_>)
I walked to the next bus-stop, waited there and when the bus came, it was a female driver who took sympathy on me and let me go with the bus anyway, as long as I realised she wouldn’t protect me if inspectors came. xD
- On to the exams…
So, I mentioned earlier that I was worried about my maths exam. So this maths exam was on Monday (same Monday as when I injured myself)…
Despite Monday being shitty, and me frantically revising maths and then raped my skull for 2 hours trying to remember all the shit I needed to know in the exam; it was actually okay. I think I got at least 50% right, which means I will probably manage a C grade. ^_^
A C grade is like a good pass. I was hoping to get an A, but I have this feeling that that’s not going to happen. B at most. C at least… xD I think I would’ve done a lot better if I’d taken a chill pill and remembered what the hell reciprocal meant! xD
Before the maths exam, my brother, who is doing Maths re-sits gave me the biggest scare in my life! >_< When I came to school to check the seating plan, I couldn’t find my name. But then I found my brother’s name, and I thought they’d made a mistake, so I nudged my friend Gabriel and showed him, and he just said that no it wasn’t a mistake because my seat was at the other end of the room, right next to him. >_>
This obviously confused me, so I asked him why the fuck my brother’s name was on there and he just said he didn’t know. So I got really stressed went to ask one of the Maths teachers; Ms.Sugarman. She then told me that my brother was supposed to be in the exam today, and she asked me where the hell he was.
So 10 minutes prior to the Maths exam’s beginning I was stood outside furious and nearly crying for some odd reason, trying to get hold of my brother. And of course he was sleeping when I called so it took him like 5 minutes to understand my rambling about exams and getting to school quick-like… And sometimes I’m so happy my year-group is seriously retarded! Because some people misbehaved, the start of the exam was delayed by 10 minutes, and my brother made it just in time! ^_^
The day after Maths I had English literature… I love English, it’s actually one of my favourite subjects, but I don’t like English exams… They’re hard… But I think I did well on the ‘Of Mice and Men‘ section… But when it came to the poetry bit I failed… I didn’t structure my writing, I didn’t use any connectives, the writing was boooring and I felt like killing myself when I read it… >_< It was really awful, and because I dragged it on for so long, I didn’t have time to finish it…
And finally, today! Today I had my Biology exam. It was NOTHING like I thought it would be… It was definitely easier than I thought, but some questions were just incomprehensible… And that really sucks… And as soon as I walked out of the exam hall I realised how many mistakes I had made… >_> So Biology is a very possible failure! >_<
That’s enough of my ramblings for now…
I’ll tell you about how my job search is going next time!
’nuff love
//Sofia
(Excuse all British spellings and stupid smileys… xD)
Right now, I am so happy I could FAINT!!!!
Sometimes I love my family so much that it hurts!
Less than half-an-hour ago, I found out that from September 23 to October sometime, 2009, I will be spending, with my aunt, in JAPAN!!!!!
This is a dream come true!!
My aunt Hannah is going there for a conference of some sort. She’s a marine biologist so she would probably love diving by the Japanese coast! That’s exactly what she was thinking, when she suddenly realised that three days in Japan is hardly enough time for leisure, especielly not if you have to work as well!
And THEN she thought of MEEEE! She remembered how much I love Japan, and that I’m actually learning Japanese! I’m very useful! ^_^ Then again my aunt and I have always been close, and whenever we’re together we get up to something crazy and fun! Because she’s my Buddy and I’m her Shrimp! So next year, Buddy and Shrimp are going on an adventure! – (That is, if Shrimp can save up AT LEAST 15′000kr* before then… >_<)
*(Kr is short for Krona/Kronor and it is the name of Sweden’s currency)
So soon I shall throw myself into a feverish search for a job during and after the summer holidays, and try to get myself a raise on the one I have already! xD
Good for me I opened a savings-acount about a week ago! (By the By, my Japanese lessons are going great! Just thought you should know!)
- So now for a boring General Update!
This tuesday I officially completed ALL compulsory education. In other words; I’VE FINISHED SCHOOL!! I’ve actually finished school and now I have Study Leave/Exam Period until the 13th June when it’s Prom Night… xD As soon as that’s all over and done with, I’m getting myself to Sweden as fast as I can!! >_< I’m gonna try catching up with all the friends I’ve kinda missed these last two years… (Which is like everybody except one or two… >_<)
So anyways, I’m really worried about my maths exams… I have two exams, one calculator and one non-calculator exam, and I have to do brilliant in both of them if I want a future! >_< At the moment I go to maths tuition after school and revision classes in school whenever I don’t have exams. It’s really tough but I hope it will help.
Now I’m really too tired to write anything else! >_<
See ya!
// Sofia
Jeez, took me ages to post this, but here it is! My holiday accounts of ITALY!
So Italy is done and over with… BUT I WANNA GO BACK!!!
Jeez, Italy was one of the most fantastic places I’ve ever been to! I haven’t been to many, but I do believe Italy will always hold a place in my heart!
I went to Amalfi in Naples with my family to celebrate my grandmother turning 60! We were 14 people in all, but it really felt less at sometimes. However I also noticed that my family, occasionally has a knack of being so loud that we make places feel crowded… I found it hard to believe, sometimes, that we were less than 30 people.
I think that’s just part of us really, it’s one of those take-it-or-leave-it things. My family is just too loud and un-Swedish to shut the hell up and just eat when we’re at a fancy Italian restaurant, in Italy. We all have to talk and update each other on other people’s business so there’s a lot of ducking heads and whispering as well as loud outbursts of “OMG NOO!
” or “REEAALLY?!”. So basically, we got a lot of stares… We get a lot of stares wherever we are…
We’re bilingual almost all of us, or at least close to bilingual, and we’re always testing each other on languages… xD My uncle asked me frequent questions about French and there was a lot of; “So Sofia, huh-huh, how’s the Japanese coming along? *smirk*” and when I said it was just fine in Japanese their smirks kind of faded and they said ” So what does that mean?”… xD
Seeing as my family does everything as a family; going to the beach was a bloody circus… We all were supposed to bring lunch, but because everybody was supposed to bring their own food, EVERYBODY forgot. xD So in the end my brothers were sent to buy pizza. The water in Amalfi wasn’t any warmer than it is early summer in Sweden, which means it was around 14-17 degrees… It was freezing! Me and my sister however plucked up the courage and jumped in, and soon two out of three brothers did the same! xD
Imagine then the 1 and a half hour drive from Amalfi to Pompeii…
My uncle kept getting annoyed, I got motion-sick and demanded to have the windows open and everybody else got cold…
While in Pompeii we got split up, because we all wanted to see different things and just went straight to it… Me and my brothers were staring at the bodies they had in a glass box… My aunts went to look at the botanical garden and my uncle and my aunts’s boyfriends where looking at the different amphi-theaters….xD
While in Pompeii I took some pictures and decided that I’m going to make another Sakura image, as I took a picture of a cherry tree in the very ruins of Pompeii! ^_^ By Sakura image I mean a photomanipulation that goes in a series with other I’ve done in a similar style. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the link: http://ever-winterchild.deviantart.com/
Feel free to leave me a comment.
Furthermore… Let me just tell you all that I am fairly pale… According to loads of people I look like a effing ghost. BUT I’VE GOTTEN TANNED!! I’m AT LEAST one and half shade darker now!
I wanted everybody to notice in school! But because everybody sucks and all, they DIDN’T notice… That annoyed me greatly. I was pulling the hair out of my face and pulling my sleeves up so that people would see but they didn’t…. and I even have LINES! >_> They’re blind and sucky…
Finally, returning from Italy was sad. We weren’t there very long and my family only gets together like this for christmas and summer holidays, and even though that’s not far from now, I still feel sad about having to leave them so soon.
Last day in Italy we weren’t actually supposed to have any dinner because we were gonna eat on the airport. However my brother was starving so my mum decided that “FIIINE!! We’ll go to a effing restaurant!” and so she called my grandparents to come and have a glass of wine while we ate and then my aunts so that they could come too, and then my uncle showed up with his fiancée and all of a sudden the dinner for 5 turned out a dinner for 14! xD We barely fitted in that small restaurant and the waitors couldn’t really manouvre around the table so they just came with the food and it was passed along the table to the one who’d ordered it! xD
I loved all the food we got there it was SOO nice and actually quite cheap!
So along with all the gorgeous liquors Italy has they also have great looking people, nicest ice cream on earth AND the best desserts! I hope you can imagine why on the way to the airport the thought of food was quite disturbing… I didn’t want to lose the taste of Italy… T_T
Buut Italy strikes back… I ate it, so It made me sick… Almost like food poisoning…
It was a good god-damned hell trying to get better and I drunk so much water it nearly went straight through me.
I’m going back to Italy, and I’m going back with a VENGEANCE! o_O Someday… xD
Anyhow. That’s all I have to say! xD
Bye
xx
// Sofia
So Italy is done and over with… BUT I WANNA GO BACK!!!
Jeez, Italy was one of the most fantastic places I’ve ever been to! I haven’t been to many, but I do believe Italy will always hold a place in my heart!
I went to Amalfi in Naples with my family to celebrate my grandmother turning 60! We were 14 people in all, but it really felt less at sometimes. However I also noticed that my family, occasionally has a knack of being so loud that we make places feel crowded… I found it hard to believe, sometimes, that we were less than 30 people.
I think that’s just part of us really, it’s one of those take-it-or-leave-it things. My family is just too loud and un-Swedish to shut the hell up and just eat when we’re at a fancy Italian restaurant, in Italy. We all have to talk and update each other on other people’s business so there’s a lot of ducking heads and whispering as well as loud outbursts of “OMG NOO!
” or “REEAALLY?!”. So basically, we got a lot of stares… We get a lot of stares wherever we are…We’re bilingual almost all of us, or at least close to bilingual, and we’re always testing each other on languages… xD My uncle asked me frequent questions about French and there was a lot of; “So Sofia, huh-huh, how’s the Japanese coming along? *smirk*” and when I said it was just fine in Japanese their smirks kind of faded and they said ” So what does that mean?”… xD
Seeing as my family does everything as a family; going to the beach was a bloody circus… We all were supposed to bring lunch, but because everybody was supposed to bring their own food, EVERYBODY forgot. xD So in the end my brothers were sent to buy pizza. The water in Amalfi wasn’t any warmer than it is early summer in Sweden, which means it was around 14-17 degrees… It was freezing! Me and my sister however plucked up the courage and jumped in, and soon two out of three brothers did the same! xD
Imagine then the 1 and a half hour drive from Amalfi to Pompeii…
My uncle kept getting annoyed, I got motion-sick and demanded to have the windows open and everybody else got cold…
While in Pompeii we got split up, because we all wanted to see different things and just went straight to it… Me and my brothers were staring at the bodies they had in a glass box… My aunts went to look at the botanical garden and my uncle and my aunts’s boyfriends where looking at the different amphi-theaters….xD
While in Pompeii I took some pictures and decided that I’m going to make another Sakura image, as I took a picture of a cherry tree in the very ruins of Pompeii! ^_^ By Sakura image I mean a photomanipulation that goes in a series with other I’ve done in a similar style. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the link: http://ever-winterchild.deviantart.com/
Feel free to leave me a comment.
Furthermore… Let me just tell you all that I am fairly pale… According to loads of people I look like a effing ghost. BUT I’VE GOTTEN TANNED!! I’m AT LEAST one and half shade darker now!
I wanted everybody to notice in school! But because everybody sucks and all, they DIDN’T notice… That annoyed me greatly. I was pulling the hair out of my face and pulling my sleeves up so that people would see but they didn’t…. and I even have LINES! >_> They’re blind and sucky…
Finally, returning from Italy was sad. We weren’t there very long and my family only gets together like this for christmas and summer holidays, and even though that’s not far from now, I still feel sad about having to leave them so soon.
Last day in Italy we weren’t actually supposed to have any dinner because we were gonna eat on the airport. However my brother was starving so my mum decided that “FIIINE!! We’ll go to a effing restaurant!” and so she called my grandparents to come and have a glass of wine while we ate and then my aunts so that they could come too, and then my uncle showed up with his fiancée and all of a sudden the dinner for 5 turned out a dinner for 14! xD We barely fitted in that small restaurant and the waitors couldn’t really manouvre around the table so they just came with the food and it was passed along the table to the one who’d ordered it! xD
I loved all the food we got there it was SOO nice and actually quite cheap!
So along with all the gorgeous liquors Italy has they also have great looking people, nicest ice cream on earth AND the best desserts! I hope you can imagine why on the way to the airport the thought of food was quite disturbing… I didn’t want to lose the taste of Italy… T_T
Buut Italy strikes back… I ate it, so It made me sick… Almost like food poisoning…
It was a good god-damned hell trying to get better and I drunk so much water it nearly went straight through me.
I’m going back to Italy, and I’m going back with a VENGEANCE! o_O Someday… xD
Anyhow. That’s all I have to say! xD
Bye
xx
// Sofia
Hiya.
Right, so I’m Sofia as I hope you know, and this is my first post… Rather than making this introductory I’ll just hope you read the ‘about me’ section and then we can get straight to hearing me rant!
Lovely, ne?At the moment I have LOADS to talk about!!Right now is End of Term holiday so I’m going to Italy in a few days to celebrate the 60th birthday of my grandmother. I’m reeeaaally looking forwards to it!
But since my school is stupid and British they’ve set us shitloads of homework which means I wont have a lot of time to enjoy Italy… >_>Also, since I’m finishing my French this year I decided it was okay to finally start my Japanese learning, and I realised that idea was a bad as it was good… I never realised I’d get homework in Japanese too… That is the true measure of my stupidity! >_< At the moment I have two teachers doing two completely different things and I quite like it. It’s just that one sets me like 20 sheets of things to remember each lesson, and the other one wants me to copy down notes that I’ve taken during the lesson neatly into a notebook, and highlighting things in different colours and making everything fun and interesting! ^_^ Of course I don’t want to sit and memorize shite when I can play with colours… So I’ve decided that after this holiday I will stop seeing the one with the sheets… xD
I’m surprised by how quickly I’ve progressed in just a couple of weeks when it comes to Japanese! It took me 4 months to learn Basic French and I’m still not good at it, but I can easily make such sentences in Japanese that I cannot in French! And that just feels fooken lovely! ^_^ Japanese isn’t so broad as English or French is either so, not too many words too learn in the beginning!
So moving on. One of my Japanese teachers lives in the Notting Hill/Bayswater area, which isn’t far from me as I live in Ealing, and not too far from her house (literally just turn right on corners) there’s an oriental food store which has food, sweets and other things (including asian-sized condoms lol) from countries like China, Korea, Malaysia and Japan! And I have this small addiction to Pocky-sticks, so I went in there in hope of finding some! And to my great joy they did have them! But they also had something that I’ve always been curious about… Mochi!They had loads of different kinds, but I settled for a kind that looked a bit like Swedish chocolate balls with coconut sprinkling on them! Then I was going to eat them, because they smelled nice, but I decided I wanted my whole family to try it with me and thus, I was excitedly chewing away on my pocky-sticks on the tube, which for some reason earned a lot of stares… Or maybe that was because of the way I was sitting… O_o (I always sit like a retard on buses and tubes… Even in cars! x3)
So anyway, I get home almost exhausted from having been so excited for so long and I arrange this whole mochi-eating ceremony..! Basically it’s a bloody miracle if my entire family is in the same room at the same time, that only happens around special occasions, but this time we all sat down with a glass of coke and a mochi each and on the count of three we all ate some..! o_____O
It failed… >_<
I was the only one who liked it, but my brother said he would like it if he had coffee… I wonder if there’s some sort of conspiracy going on because my mum dislikes all Japanese sweets I bring home! >_< The boys will eat almost anything, but because of the texture of mochi they just couldn’t eat it! o_O Shimatta… >_<
Aaand finally, here are some things I’ve noticed while working with Japanese people…I work weekends as a nanny/mother’s help for a Japanese/American family. The mother is Japanese and her name is Midori and she is weird… She’s not at all like other Japanese people I’ve met, and I’ve met quite a few… >_O She’s polite and philosophical, but in a strange way, because it only goes so far as to the most perceiving eye and ear… O_o
I quite like her, I think she’s kind and funny, but it seems all the other nannies that work for her hate her! I’ve heard so much shit about her I just can’t believe it. I think she’s very stereotypically Japanese, which is rare I think for the Japanese people living in London… In their own words; they’re all trying to be very igirisu but they just make themselves more gaijin… Midori however is quite proud of being a gaijin and instead of trying to make herself seem British or American, she Japanifies everybody else! ^_^
I think it could be that the great cultural differences between Japan and the rest of the world is hard to welcome if you have a very strong bond to your own country’s culture. Nevertheless, I think it’s a wonderful culture to try and embrace! It’s a very yasashii culture as I think the Japanese themselves would say…
It’s a culture where you have to think about your way of speech and to be polite to everybody. It’s very contrasting from the rude and chavy Britons, and they’re certainly not taking over the way that the Eastern Europeans are doing. In Japan you will probably never encounter somebody giving you the finger for saying ‘Excuse me, do you know where the tube station is?’ …
The Japanese attitude to money is also very refreshing! In Japan people aren’t as money crazed as the people of the west… For an example, ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’ was/is a huge success in most European countries, as well as in America, but in Japan, because of the concept of the show it wasn’t at all a very big hit… Out of the millions of people who live there only about 150.000-200.000 people watched it! Also, money should be given, but never shown in Japan, and thus pay is given in an envelope!
This is also something that my “co-workers” get annoyed about… They have been asked not to discuss their salary with each other and this is because it’s quite a rude thing to do in Japan, but they think it’s because Midori doesn’t want us to know how much each of us get. Thing is the only one who gets payed another sum than the rest is me, and I get less than they do… And I’m the only one not complaining. I’m fine with being payed less because I’m the only one with no previous experience and also because I’m so young. I’m only 15 which means I’m not even legally allowed to work, so I’m just grateful I have the job.
Another thing I find funny is that the Japanese have a completely different view on hygiene. To them hygiene means disinfected pens and phones in the offices and white gloves on their politicians and taxi drivers. When I work I occasionally have to do some cleaning, and this always includes disinfecting something! xD Door-handles, babies beds, bookshelves and floors… It’s almost clinically clean everyday! xD
This made me realise why colds and flues are taken so seriously in Japan. Considering their disinfected environment, their immune systems are probably less exposed to viruses and bacteria, and thus it’s probably weaker… o_O Funny…
This makes me all very nervous for the future as I’ve already decided to go to Japan as soon as I have the money and language skills, and I wonder how I will make do… Will I be able to adjust to their Japanese ways or will they scare me away from their beautiful country? I hope I can learn Japanese quickly and go visit there soon! xD
Anyways…
I feel like I’ve written too much… I doubt anybody will have the energy to read this even, but hopefully this post will be much appreciated soon and stuff…
xx
//Sofia